Friday, May 22, 2009

Two Springs


I just returned from the Midwest.  It is May, and the Spring season is in full bloom there.

In Arizona, we had our "Spring" season over a month ago, and now, the temperatures have already climbed into the triple digits.  

In Iowa, however, the season is definitely "Spring".  The apple blossoms are in full bloom.  The violet lilac flowers have opened and are spreading their sweet fragrance. Fresh (and freshly picked) rhubarb pie and asparagus casserole are the dishes of the season.  The little green rows of baby corn have emerged through the black soil.  And my family just finished planting the last bean fields (Yay!  It's always a relief when the crops are in).  

I am reminded of the "Spring" season in Arizona a month and a half ago.  I love the Spring, and this year, I was fortunate enough to experience two of them.  I want to share my reflections that I wrote in late March about this time in my desert home... 


New Moons & New Beginnings: Spring in Arizona
March 26, 2009

I sink into reverie as I awake amidst the morning song of the birds outside of my window.  It's the breaking of the day.   I love this time.  The awakening.  The cheerful birds celebrating the dawn and return of light.  

This is the time when I feel most open...to the world, to my senses, to possibility. It's the "in between" time...when the peace of what's passed is laid to rest, the opportunity of the day that lays ahead is waiting, and all that's left is the present moment of being...completely open.

It is Spring now.  The first new moon was two days ago.  I feel my instincts resonate with the season...urging me to plant seeds and grow roots in the wide openness, and watch in awe as the green sprouts emerge and flowers open.  

It's the season of possibility.  Of planting seeds and growing roots in the "in between".

Every moment there is the chance for birth and for re-birth...to create again or to start anew. To take every part of what was, fully integrate in to what is, and transform into what will be.

It's the dawn of possibility.  No wonder I hear the birds celebrate each morning in song.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pressing "Send"

"Once I press send, I cannot take it back."  The fearful thought runs through my mind.  

A simple click of the mouse or a brush with the send button on the cell phone stirs a bit of that internal anxiety of committing to the choice. 

And it's so symbolic of life.

Standing on the crossroads...the inner turmoil between what the heart wants to do and what the mind fears doing.  The anxious struggle on the inside, the internal chatter that gets louder amidst the unknown.  "What path do I take? Will I regret taking this path? Will I miss out? Will I always wonder what lies down the other?"   

And then I remember...

I remember to let go and breathe.  One breath at a time.  

And I remember to open my eyes and step.  One step at a time. 

How is it that I am here, in this body, walking upon this little blue planet?  This little blue planet that has just the right concoction of 21% Oxygen, 78% Nitrogen and miniscule amounts of other gases that resonate perfectly with my body?  My body that takes it all in and lets go of what it doesn't need?  

We've come a long way since the days of flight or fight, running from tigers and chasing down our dinner.  Yet, not so far.  The human stress response is still the same.  We just have more time to think about the choice.  And oftentimes, there is much less gratification in making the choice, since the release of clicking a button does far less for relieving the physical stress response than running from a predator.  And so, the anxiety lingers.  

Until I step back and remember.  I remember to breathe.  I remember to go inside, and then to step with courage, honesty, passion and commitment to the path.  Because every path is worthy. And every path entails lessons and a perfect concoction for what I need at the present.  I cannot control the weather along the way, but I can control who I am and what I do when I come face to face with it and my belief and trust in the greater concoction.

Because in the end, somehow, it all works out.  Or, if it hasn't, then maybe it's not the end...if there really is an end

The journey can be amazingly breathtaking and beautiful, incredibly messy and tragic, blissful and frustrating.  Yet through it all, in a grace so often beyond comprehension, evolves the human spirit...and the journey, and the story, and the song and the dance.